I had really blown it this time. Grocery shopping with my children at times has a tendency to bring out the worst in me. Especially on the days of runny noses (with no tissues on hand), bickering siblings, and the list left sitting on the kitchen table.
This particular day I was grocery shopping between TWO stores within all the circumstances above. Trying to get the best bang for our buck while literally losing my mind. Pay the extra dollar, my friend if you ever find yourself in those shoes.
Here’s where I blew it.
My husband called while we were in the store and I copped an attitude with him (because clearly it was his fault that the kids were acting up and that I had left my list at home and that we were all tired and hungry). We survived the first trip, but still had one to go, one that would require double time from the first. Yikes! I became unraveled and it wasn’t pretty. No mama ever cares to admit the times she’s unleashed in ways she prays no one saw. But this was me.
The words I spoke over my children were terrible and I was falling apart before their eyes. Literally, the entire 10 minute drive between stores, all I could think was, ” Why would God EVER show me favor? I’m a terrible mother who blames the disorganization of my life on the chaos of my children. I throw the heat on my husband for something that had absolutely nothing to do with him. I teach my kids about the love of Jesus and struggle to show it myself at times. Why, oh why, would God ever keep bothering with a mess like me?”
Have you ever felt this way friend? Wondering why, after countless times of grace and redemption, God would even consider turning your way?
Following a stern lecture, we set forth into our final grocery trip. As we were entering the store, an older gentleman shouted across the entrance and came walking towards us. He looked sweet and kind, but I was in no mode for small talk with anyone. (Shamefully said) This man told me how beautiful our family was and how time passes so quickly. His words gave me chills. This kind man then proceeds to ask for my hand and he placed two $50 bills folded up tightly in my palm. He told me God had blessed him more in his life than he could have asked and that he wanted to bless us. Sister, I am in tears reflecting on this moment.
You see, it wasn’t about the money. Not at all. Oh what a blessing it was as he had hoped. But it was about being noticed at a time I knew I least deserved it. This moment was one I will never forget and hope to share with my grandbabies one day because it’s a story of grace. This story tells me God doesn’t only notice us when we’re good. He notices our struggle and our shortfalls and STILL chooses us! WOW!
God met me at the doors of Walmart 5 minutes after I blessed out my whole family then was sure He was done with me. He rescued my heart when it was under attack. He didn’t reward me for bad behavior. He reminding me of His (steadfast) Love for me even in the valleys. Therefore, I was able to extend the same steadfast grace and love over my family in a time it may not have been so deserved. I was able to explain to my kids and witness to my husband how God showed favor of me in a time I totally wouldn’t have blamed Him to have left me to wallow in my mud. This, my friend is what keeps me in love with our Savior.
Wherever in your life you may think you have blown it, know this. His grace is unending, His love is unwavering, and He always notices!Sometimes, we must only turn to Him and allow Him to have His will within us. Happy Monday, lovely lady!