Have you ever experienced whiplash in your marriage? What only minutes ago was smooth sailing now rapidly becomes a monstrous monsoon. Your husband, who just prior had you head over heels is now the man who has you gritting your teeth and shaken in your faith.


Was it possibly a financial dispute? Opposing opinions in child rearing? Stress from work exploded upon the other? A misunderstanding?

Let’s explore some truth together, shall we?

In 1 Samuel Chapter 17, the Israelites were at war with the Philistines. A giant, named Goliath challenged the Israelites by asking them to send one man to fight him and the victor would then take the other as their own.

And the Philistine drew near and presented himself forty days, morning and evening…And all of the men of Israel, when they saw the man, fled from him and were dreadfully afraid. 1 Samuel 17:16, 24

Hmm…sound familiar? I know there have been seasons where my marital battles were similar to a giant. Even if they were small battles, they were so repetitious, the constant strife became the giant. And yes, I have tried to flee at times greatly afraid I would never see victory. I have fallen victim to the enemy losing sight of the true Victor.

I’m going to pause here with the story as some of you already know the final ending. We’ll come back. Let’s focus on the victims for a moment. They were Jesus followers…when life was smooth sailing. What happens when life turned to a monstrous monsoon of strife? They became victims of the enemy fleeing and afraid.

Have you been one to flee? Not only do I mean packed bags and the search for greener grass in other places. I’m also referring to bashing sessions with other wives to lighten the load as we mock our men and seek to feel justified in our struggles. As I reflect back to times I have struggled in my marriage, I would degrade him to close friends to make myself feel better. I think of how hurt my husband would be had he been sitting in on the conversations. A victim seeking a friend rather than a vessel seeking God.

Have you feared defeat? I have always struggled with fear. My husband and I are living such a story, the mere thought of backtracking, even a few steps, leaves me paralyzed some days. Fear. A word the enemy thrives on. We fear what hasn’t happened that could. We fear what might happen again. We fear the present hindrances and whether they will improve. Fear. Sugar on the tongue of Satan.

The amazing truth?

The victory has already been won for us. This is only part of the journey.

Many times, people are only victims of crimes until the perpetrator has been prosecuted. Once then, they are free, though there is still healing to be done which in most cases is a process. More so, you will find many turn their role from a victim to a vessel to help others who have walked in their shoes and to find justice for them.

Our God prosecuted our perpetrator (Satan) at the cross. Though it’s a journey through hope and healing, we no longer have to see ourselves as victims, but have countless opportunities to be vessels, starting in our marriages.

Before we seek the second part of 1 Samuel 17, I encourage you to pray and ask God to help you discern the areas of your marriage you have fallen victim. Journal it out. Pray with honesty that God may speak in detail to your weary soul. We can’t be the best vessel until we know where we are the most vulnerable victim. I pray expectantly between now and the next post that you feel His presence and comfort as we gain new perspective and seek marriage boosting changes.