Sometimes our flesh will just wear on us, right? I’ve been a mama nearly 10 years. From one aspect, that’s quite some time and from another, it’s only begun. Is it okay if I admit some days I am drained before my feet even hit the floor in the morning? You’re eyes aren’t even open, yet you hear, “Mommy, I need…” or “Mommy, I want…”? I get it.
When we consider our babies, pets, or whatever it is in your life outside your hubby that consumes great commitment in your life, we don’t typically intentionally do wrong by these people or things. Yes we grow tired some days, in great need of rest and reprieve, however, we don’t skip their meal because our nerves are shot. We don’t skip their game because we feel unappreciated. We keep on keepin’ on, right? Doing good for their sake more than our own.
If I’m honest, there have been times in our marriage, I have intentionally done wrong to retaliate from a weary heart. Embarrassingly enough, I have pulled the “Nothing” card. You know, when he asks multiple times what’s wrong and your answer is consistently “Nothing” until eventually the volcano erupts. Maybe he was hateful the night before so you decide he can pack his own lunch tomorrow.
Then, there are moments our response or reaction becomes a little more critical.
He was unfaithful. Do you retaliate with the same treatment or do you forgive and remain firm in your faithfulness? He said some unkind words in a moment of high stress and exhaustion. Do you send him right back down the road with your words or do you create a safe haven in the midst of his storm? He selfishly spent money that was intended for an upcoming bill. Do you take advantage of your Amazon Prime one-click purchase or do you find some time alone to get on your knees seeking God’s provision for the bill you now aren’t sure how to pay.
I spent too long riding the fence of “doing good” and “getting even” in my marriage. My firm belief is I would have experienced the harvest of the hard seasons sooner if only I stayed intentional upon doing good.
Sure, we run out of steam. Sometimes it’s not even our marriages wearing us out but our circumstances around us that begin to weigh in on our marriage. Goodness, do I know.
There is the most beautiful promise in this verse. It wouldn’t say “do not grow weary while doing good” if it wasn’t known the struggle can get intense. The promise of reaping from our good in it’s best time if we do not give up rings bells of hope to my ears. How about you, friend?
Those nights I would cry the night away, I wasn’t sure what one day to the next would look like for our family. I didn’t desire to do good anymore. Doing good was painful. It felt unfair. I held tight to this verse. I wrote it in journals, framed it, had it printed on a photo album of our family pictures. It was my anchor.
Hear me out. I’m experiencing only the beginning of that promise of reaping if we don’t give up. I pray this verse replenishes the thirstiest of places in your heart and you feel His movement over you in your life today.